My Primary reason for building this site is to get schools to start speaking to children in kindergarten or first grade to intervene while there is still a chance to help them. I hope that in many cases, when the child speaks up, it will give the parents a chance to get help (If the issue is a lack of resources, addiction, or mental illness) or to intervene if the abuse is perpetrated by someone else.
My goal is not to have the system flooded with parentless children. In many cases, I believe parents are not aware of how their behavior or someone else’s behavior is affecting their child. I believe parents need to be educated also as to how their behavior affects their children.
Many of the worst bruises are not visible. Adults may not realize how their own or their spouses’ or partners’ drinking or drug problem is affecting their kids. They may be overwhelmed by job and financial pressure and need help to cope, so they don’t take it out on their children. In other cases, parents need to know that they should not do things to or around their children that they are afraid of others finding out. That fear is a red flag that something is wrong. Sadly, many of the people who abuse children were abused themselves, so they may not even realize what they are doing, or assume they lived through it, so their kids will be just fine.
Statistically, most abuse occurs with children before school age. Sadly, I know for a fact that by the time I was 8, I was very mentally ill. I have created a list of items that I believe from my own experience, would encourage children to speak up. Unfortunately, the children in the worst situations are also the children least likely to talk about what is happening.
First, you must let them know that people who hurt them and do bad things to them also lie. Adults will threaten in many ways to make sure the child doesn’t tell anyone.
Children‘s Bill of Rights:
- You have rights. You have a right to food, clothing, medical care, dental care, respect, and love. When your parents brought you into this world or a person agrees to take care of you, they are responsible for taking care of your needs. If they are not doing that, you need to ask for help.
- The adults who take care of you are supposed to teach you how to clean your teeth and your body. They should make sure you go to school.
- You should not have to feel bad or get teased because you smell bad or you are not clean. It is not your fault.
- You should have clean clothes to wear. You should not have to wear clothes that smell bad or are dirty. You should ask an adult for help, especially if other kids tease you about it.
- No one has the right to tell you anything or do anything to make you feel bad about yourself. You are good enough, smart enough, and deserving of love. No one is born bad or deserves to be hurt.
- You are one of a kind and special, and you should feel good about who you are.
- No one should try to make you feel like you are less than anyone else. You are not.
- You should never feel ashamed of something that is happening to you or around you because it makes you feel dirty, ashamed, or different.
- You are not to blame for other people’s behavior. You are never to blame for what other people do.
- No matter what kids say to you or do to you, you have a right to feel safe, and no one is better than you.
- If someone is hurting you in any way, no matter who they are, you need to ask a trusted adult for help. This includes bullies. No one has the right to bully you or hurt you. NO ONE!
- If an adult or older/larger child threatens you to keep a secret, you must tell an adult you can trust anyway.
- You should not have to keep secrets that make you feel bad. Trusted adults will know how to protect you from those who threaten you.
- If you feel uncomfortable being touched or hurt in any way by anyone, you should tell them to stop. If they don’t, you need to ask another adult for help.
- Adults are not the only ones who might touch you in a bad way or threaten you. Sometimes, it is an older sibling, a neighbor, a babysitter, or another kid who is bigger and is hurting you.
- If someone does something to you that feels bad, they will often lie and tell you they will hurt you or someone you love if you tell anyone. IT is NOT true. It is a Lie.
- People who hurt you will lie so they can get away with something they know is wrong. If you tell an adult and it still happens, tell someone else. Keep telling until someone makes it stop.
- All parents get into arguments at times, but if it becomes violent (hitting, beating, breaking furniture, death threats, abusing your pet, etc.), you should get help. You should talk to someone you trust about what is happening. You can call 911.
- If your parents’ arguments are frequent and make you fear that one of them will be killed or seriously hurt the other, you need to let someone know. You can call 911 if it gets too scary.