PTSD IS HELL

Just when you think you have moved on… that you are all better..some image, TV show, song, sign… something triggers a flashback… and once again you are transported through time..you smell the smells, feel the sensations, relive the horror as if it were happening again… and then just as suddenly..you are back to the now… shaking and scared because you have lost time and you aren’t sure what is real.  you remind yourself what year it is..you try to determine where you are..often it takes a while before things start to look familiar again.  The worst is when it happens when I am driving…I have to pull over because I have no idea where I am or why I am driving..where was I going?…. what scares me the most is when I am going somewhere I have gone hundreds of times yet I don’t recognize anything…I am alone and feel like I have been warped through time…I can’t let anyone know.  No one at work or that is part of my everyday life knows anything about me… just the life I made up to fill in the years spent locked away or in rehab..or on drugs or living in cars… no one can find out